What Gets in Your Way of Creating Healthy Boundaries in Ministry?

This is a question I recently asked and the responses boiled down to 4 key things.

• I don't have a mentor. There is no one to help me figure out what this looks like and encourage me along the way.
• I don't know how to say no.  Am I allowed to say no? How do I do that? What do I say no to?
• I am genuinely interested in the things I am asked to do. I would enjoy it and honestly, I'd be good at it!
• I don't know how to manage all of the expectations.

If any of these barriers get in your way, join me for the Margin Maker workshop. We'll help you get clear on your priorities, learn how to say "no," create a plan, shift your mindset and help you establish margin (which means you have to create healthy boundaries) for the long haul. Enrollment ends April 16th at 6:00p CT. Learn more HERE.

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Does all that you do for God help you be your whole self? The answer should be YES, but many of us find that we end up losing ourselves along the way. Too many great, godly women are leaving their ministry positions. Some may step out of the position of authority, while others stay but are dying on the inside. We start off by saying yes to God and our God given assignment, but end up drifting to this place where we are not able to be the true, complete, whole person God called us to be.

The Trend

Far too many times, while we begin ministry with enthusiasm and hope, it ends up consuming all of who we are and tends to put to death the other vital pieces of our lives. None of us wake up and think, "let's say yes to ministry but ignore every other piece of ourselves or neglect important relationships," but it can happen if we are not careful.

Also Mentioned in the Podcast

Margin Maker. If you need to make margin in your life and ministry you won't want to miss the Margin...

What do you do when things look bleak in life and ministry? Do you try and fight? Do you fall back in despair? What do you hold on to as you sit at the foot of the cross in your suffering?

It is Maundy Thursday and today's episode is a special encouragement stemming from Jesus' last night before He was crucified. Things looked bleak. Pilate thought he had power and authority over the situation, able to sentence Jesus to death or set Him free.

"Then Jesus said, 'You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above...' " John 19:11

Despite how it looked, things were going according to plan...and it was a good plan because God was the one in control.

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Do you have space between your load and your limits? Do you wish you had a way to increase your capacity in ministry? There is a way to do just that, but I've got to warn you, it's counterintuitive.

Make Margin

Margin builds capacity. The more margin we have the better we are as leaders, spouses, parents, friends, and neighbors. We become wiser in our decision-making.

Making margin is one of the most powerful and courageous things we can do to thrive in life and ministry.

Join the waitlist for our new Margin Maker workshop. It will give you the strategies you need to get the margin you want!

One of the reasons why we are busy is because we have too many things to get done. But even when we are concentrating on only one thing, our momentum gets hijacked, we lose our focus, and it takes us 7 times longer to get it done.

The Hack

There is a secret (or not so secret) strategy to getting things done and it is to turn off your notifications. Whether you are using email, social media, or other tools, flip the script...don't allow your device to take control of you. 

Join me as we talk about the impact of our notifications on our ministry and strategies you can use to break free from your devices and get things done.

Have you ever experienced pushback in ministry? Have people reacted negatively to the changes that you are making? They don't like it and they're letting you know that they don't like it! That may seem like a silly question. Of course we have experienced pushback...and if you haven’t yet, don’t worry...it’s coming! 

Pushback happens.. Pushback is normal.

What should you do when someone opposes or complains about the changes you are making?

Let’s start by talking about change for a second.

Change is a stressor (even good change).

People resist change.

Resistance creates friction, otherwise known as conflict. And we typically avoid conflict. But there is such a thing as healthy conflict. It is important to reframe your thinking that pushback is bad. You’ve got to remind yourself this is normal and it can be good. Healthy conflict helps create a healthy culture and healthy people with healthy relationships.

Key Tips Discussed:

• Reframe your idea of...

One of the keys to great leadership is to communicate well with your people. This is important in ministry in general and is a valuable and necessary leadership principle when you are focused on your priorities and setting healthy boundaries.

Many times we create frustration because we have not relayed the right information to the right people at the right time. Sharing the particulars is critical to help people understand what to expect and manage tension and anxiety.

Keys to Communicating Well

Communicate Clearly and Often

(Inspired Patrick Lencioni's foundations for creating a healthy organization.)

• Create clarity: Oftentimes we aren't clear...we think we are being clear, but something is being lost in translation. Clarity is key. It helps to build and maintain a healthy organization both with staff and with the people you serve. Let people be your advocate. Plus if it is within your scope of influence, create an environment where everyone has healthy...

Do you find it hard to give yourself grace?

Many of us would answer, yes. It’s interesting...we are able to show kindness and patience with others, but we are much harder on ourselves.

Our Current Situation

Many of us are under a lot of pressure. Not only are we trying to manage it all, but there’s been a lot going on that adds to our stress. Every time I turn around I feel like there is another "historic" or "unprecedented" event unfolding. You just can’t wrap your brain around what’s happening. It’s truly unbelievable, and yet here we are in the midst of it. Some things we see and feel from a distance, while others hit right at home.

The Result

These events add up. They take their toll on us. We need to be ok with not feeling personally responsible for everything. It’s tough, especially for people in ministry because it’s part of our calling as Jesus followers and as spiritual leaders to grieve with those who grieve and hurt with those...

Have you been wondering what types of rhythms you should integrate into your life and leadership? Where do you even start? In this episode of the podcast, I share 3 rhythms that every person in ministry should have. These rhythms will change your life and your ministry. 

Key Rhythms 

• Rest: a time to stop, sabbath, preferably weekly. 
• Review: once a week, 45-60 minutes do a review of how you've spent your time and energy. What went well? What needs to be done differently? What's coming up this coming week and how can I make the most of it?
• Retreat: a period of 2-4 when you get away with God to survey the scene with God. What is He saying to you about the season you are in or may be entering? Listen, pray, evaluate. This form of pulling back allows you to strategically enter into the months ahead.

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If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode...

You want to make some changes. There are some good, healthy boundaries that you know will help you lead and live better but you just can’t seem to gain momentum. I want to share with you 4 progress killers that keep you from making the changes you want.

We wait for the perfect time.

We wait for just the right time before we make changes. We decide to wait until things slow down. We think it’ll be easier once we push through this busy season, or once a certain obligation is finished.  We wait until things are perfect!  But guess what?  It’ll never be perfect! There will never be a perfect time. If you don’t put in the boundaries you need, new obligations and new seasons of busyness will steal your space and margin.

We have an all or nothing attitude.

Many of us approach change and progress with an all or nothing attitude. If there is just one time we can imagine when the boundary or rhythm won’t work, we don’t even try! We...