Women in Ministry United Podcast

Trying to figure out how to manage all the expectations in ministry? 

In this episode, we go deeper into what lies beneath expectations and what to do with them if they are something we can't do. 

What are expectations?

• Assumptions, presumptions
• Hopes
• What they think would happen in the future
• State of Anticipating
• Feeling of what should happen

Where do they come from?

• Family, friends, neighbors, schools, people in the place of our ministry
• Formed and shaped by past experiences and personal definition of responsibilities.

Things to consider. Are the expectations:

• conscious
• realistic
• spoken
• agreed upon

What do you do with them?

• Ask God about the condition of your heart and for His guidance.
• If it was not agreed upon, acknowledge this in a kind way by saying, "I didn’t know that’s what you were expecting" or
  simply, "I’m sorry, I am not able to do that."
• If it was agreed upon, start a conversation. Talk about it. This is what I can do...this is what...

What Gets in Your Way of Creating Healthy Boundaries in Ministry?

This is a question I recently asked and the responses boiled down to 4 key things.

• I don't have a mentor. There is no one to help me figure out what this looks like and encourage me along the way.
• I don't know how to say no.  Am I allowed to say no? How do I do that? What do I say no to?
• I am genuinely interested in the things I am asked to do. I would enjoy it and honestly, I'd be good at it!
• I don't know how to manage all of the expectations.

If any of these barriers get in your way, join me for the Margin Maker workshop. We'll help you get clear on your priorities, learn how to say "no," create a plan, shift your mindset and help you establish margin (which means you have to create healthy boundaries) for the long haul. Enrollment ends April 16th at 6:00p CT. Learn more HERE.

Connect with Jen

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Does all that you do for God help you be your whole self? The answer should be YES, but many of us find that we end up losing ourselves along the way. Too many great, godly women are leaving their ministry positions. Some may step out of the position of authority, while others stay but are dying on the inside. We start off by saying yes to God and our God given assignment, but end up drifting to this place where we are not able to be the true, complete, whole person God called us to be.

The Trend

Far too many times, while we begin ministry with enthusiasm and hope, it ends up consuming all of who we are and tends to put to death the other vital pieces of our lives. None of us wake up and think, "let's say yes to ministry but ignore every other piece of ourselves or neglect important relationships," but it can happen if we are not careful.

Also Mentioned in the Podcast

Margin Maker. If you need to make margin in your life and ministry you won't want to miss the Margin...

Do you have space between your load and your limits? Do you wish you had a way to increase your capacity in ministry? There is a way to do just that, but I've got to warn you, it's counterintuitive.

Make Margin

Margin builds capacity. The more margin we have the better we are as leaders, spouses, parents, friends, and neighbors. We become wiser in our decision-making.

Making margin is one of the most powerful and courageous things we can do to thrive in life and ministry.

Join the waitlist for our new Margin Maker workshop. It will give you the strategies you need to get the margin you want!

Have you ever experienced pushback in ministry? Have people reacted negatively to the changes that you are making? They don't like it and they're letting you know that they don't like it! That may seem like a silly question. Of course we have experienced pushback...and if you haven’t yet, don’t worry...it’s coming! 

Pushback happens.. Pushback is normal.

What should you do when someone opposes or complains about the changes you are making?

Let’s start by talking about change for a second.

Change is a stressor (even good change).

People resist change.

Resistance creates friction, otherwise known as conflict. And we typically avoid conflict. But there is such a thing as healthy conflict. It is important to reframe your thinking that pushback is bad. You’ve got to remind yourself this is normal and it can be good. Healthy conflict helps create a healthy culture and healthy people with healthy relationships.

Key Tips Discussed:

• Reframe your idea of...

One of the keys to great leadership is to communicate well with your people. This is important in ministry in general and is a valuable and necessary leadership principle when you are focused on your priorities and setting healthy boundaries.

Many times we create frustration because we have not relayed the right information to the right people at the right time. Sharing the particulars is critical to help people understand what to expect and manage tension and anxiety.

Keys to Communicating Well

Communicate Clearly and Often

(Inspired Patrick Lencioni's foundations for creating a healthy organization.)

• Create clarity: Oftentimes we aren't clear...we think we are being clear, but something is being lost in translation. Clarity is key. It helps to build and maintain a healthy organization both with staff and with the people you serve. Let people be your advocate. Plus if it is within your scope of influence, create an environment where everyone has healthy...

Do you find it hard to give yourself grace?

Many of us would answer, yes. It’s interesting...we are able to show kindness and patience with others, but we are much harder on ourselves.

Our Current Situation

Many of us are under a lot of pressure. Not only are we trying to manage it all, but there’s been a lot going on that adds to our stress. Every time I turn around I feel like there is another "historic" or "unprecedented" event unfolding. You just can’t wrap your brain around what’s happening. It’s truly unbelievable, and yet here we are in the midst of it. Some things we see and feel from a distance, while others hit right at home.

The Result

These events add up. They take their toll on us. We need to be ok with not feeling personally responsible for everything. It’s tough, especially for people in ministry because it’s part of our calling as Jesus followers and as spiritual leaders to grieve with those who grieve and hurt with those...

What do you do if you are burned out in ministry? If ministry has wounded you, if you’re running on empty, if you are flat-out spent...what happens now? Do you quit? Do you just suck it up buttercup? What’s next? What are your options?

We rarely talk about this.

We seldom have honest and open conversations about what can happen to you in ministry if you aren’t careful, let alone, what to do if you are falling off the edge of the cliff. I’m not sure why burnout and fatigue are taboo subjects and virtually ignored.

The fact is, we’re human. We have our limits. God made us that way. We don’t have to be afraid of our limitations.  We don’t have to fear our need to stop, and yet we keep going. We don’t want to show anything that could be seen as weakness. We keep pushing, we keep producing, we keep doing, we keep responding.

How do you find time to rest and heal while still showing up at getting things done?

A woman in full...

What is the strength of your ministry?

What is that one thing that makes you the person and the leader God has created you to be? What gives you the potency, the power to impact the Kingdom and do the things God has called you to do? My guess is that if you knew the answer to THAT, it would change everything, right? You’d make sure to develop that leadership muscle. You’d spend the time that was necessary...you’d protect that strength at all costs.

What if I told you, I know your strength? I know your superpower because it is my superpower too.

The strength of your ministry is your relationship with God.**

Our relationship with God is the one thing that helps us be the person and leader we were created and called to be. Our relationship with God gives us the potency to impact the Kingdom and gives us the power to do the things we were called to do.

An alarming trend is the amount of pastors and ministry leaders who spend very little time...

Are you wondering if your ministry is making any kind impact these days? Is what you’re doing making a difference? Are people being met and served well? If you find yourself wondering these same things, you’re not alone. Many ministry leaders are discouraged and doubting if anything is really working. In this episode, I share 5 things you can do when you doubt what you’re doing in ministry.

We are leading during a season where it is incredibly difficult to have a finger on the pulse of our congregations or ministry organizations. It’s hard! Many of us are on-line for some, if not all of our ministry related events and it’s difficult to see how people are interacting. If you’re preaching virtually, it’s a huge challenge. You don’t get to see people’s body language. Are people smiling or nodding their heads in agreement? Or have they nodded off to sleep?! You just don’t know. You can’t tell if they are engaged or if...